a) I do have regrets. I wish I could have done some things differently. I wish I could have been braver or more rational in certain moments. I don't believe anyone that says he/she has no regrets. Although those rush acts or decisions brought very important persons to me that only makes me regret it less, but still regret it.
I regret I didn't fight enough for you or for me, in that matter. Unfortunately life doesn't care about that and just moves on like nothing has happened, even if you wish time would just stop. But time only denies you any other opportunities. With time we don't get a second chance. Life is not a movie, but a very harsh reality.
b) I do feel. I do, and even if it's said that brain and heart have nothing to do one with each other, when I feel, I feel it in every cell of my body, indiscriminately. And I do lose control. It's the only time when I feel a slave of my own self.
c) To me writing is equal to a primary need and necessity. At times it's the only thing that makes me realize something that otherwise I wouldn't admit. I've been writing ever since I learned to write. I never stopped. I have journals, fictional stories, poetry, entire notebooks with thoughts. That's my biggest treasure. My thoughts. Although I hate them at times because they never let me rest, but they are the truly essence of who I am. And that is exactly why no one would ever be allowed to know them in primary condition, as they first appear in my mind. I can't allow that. They are mine and only mine.
This days I want to write some chapters to my book, decisively.
d) I do have fears. But I do my best to face them, and I'll keep trying.
I've been thinking of a word to replace the overused word ”love”. How about ”adore”?! I mean it has a certain passion to it. At least I think so (besides it kinda reminds me of a past era). Doesn't it sound better ”I adore you”, than ”I love you”. Hmm... I'm still trying to find another one. When the perfect one will come along I'll know it.
Till next time...