I did this few days ago.It looks a little dirty again,because of the scanner.I did this drawing with a purpose.It was meant for someone.I tried to make the drawing so that it included several symbols.The vampire has a mask,a ball mask,as a symbol of mystery-often associated with vampires.The long cape,the hair and the way he holds the girl symbolizes the sensuality which makes that girl practically surrender in his arms.To tease the girl or maybe to give her a little "love" before death,he gives her a flower,but not an ordinary flower,but a rose-symbol of resurrection,mystery.The clothes suggest the epoch they lived in,the event they took part of-the masquerade-,an usual event in that age.He must have been a nobleman because he is well dressed and he has the ring-also often visualized in vampire portraits,and may represent the symbol of his union with death.The girl is crying but she looks at him as if he was her angel-a beautiful angel of death-.She seems peaced with her fate,and maybe she's glad she ended this way and that he acted like this with her,and that he didn't brutalized her.This also shows that he still has human feelings.He acts gently,as she is a fragile thing in his hands,and he leaves the strong impression that he has control of what he's doing;he's been through this before,but now maybe it's a little different,harder.The symbol under the writing was the symbol of Blood,and of human sacrifice back in the ages.Well,I could go on and on with this but this were the important stuffs.

Maaan,the surprises keep coming out.(well,good surprises so far).On the other side maybe I analyze things too much;an important person in my life thought me that every word,gesture is actually hiding something,it has a double meaning.Maybe often the words/gestures don't have an figurative content,but I still think that maybe it has a hidden meaning.But,I like what is happening,I just hope it's not my imagination.
Subject:The things that happen in EU,especially Italy because of that mtf gypsy really bother me.Romanians are blamed like we were a criminal nation.There are criminals everywhere,and if some of them emigrate it doesn't mean that all of us are the same.Romanians are really kind persons.And those gypsy are acting the same way here,we have big problems with them too;they are not welcomed here either.I can't stand them.They are not educated,filthy and they want everyone to welcome them,but they still do awful things.I'm not a racist.-Take black people for example;I admire them because they had the strength to evolve from slaves to presidency.And they are good at everything:dancing,singing, acting,whatever.I don't know what other nations would last to work and live like the black people in the Third World.You know,a child from 3 Africans dies dehydrated every day,and one American uses 170l/day while an African uses 12l/day.This is big.-As for the gypsy,I wish they would disappear.(and take this,they are not necessarily Romanians-they don't even speak Romanian,they are everywhere.They are nomads.)

...I love playing with my hair,soft and fragile,to feel that my hand is sinking into my curls...it calms me...
It's been a boring week but at the same time surprising--(DD-Decision;Daring)--
Whenever I go out with the girls or whatever,I only get out hoping it will be different.I'm always bored because the subject of discussion is always the same:boys,and all that is related to this.I get it once,twice,but always?!I asked them many times if they don't have another subject.The answer was:"If we don't talk about that,then about what?".Sadly,it's true.They can't find another subject,and if I will propose them another one,they will get back ton the old discussion,probably because they wouldn't know what to answer.Maybe they're denying the reality and the real problems.And they keep asking me why I don't go out more often.I honestly rather stay home.They don't get that.It's kinda weird and sad to see that.And the reason I get out,when I do,it's because I want to drink a good frappe or shake or I just wanna get out of the house,although I hate the smoke.So,I mostly use them.Now I got the lesson,I don't even bother asking them to change the subject,but I just watch the tv,or I think at something else.And I know they won't ask me something related to this,because I will just reject them.My private life is private.I wish some of them will keep their private life to their own too-it's despicable to talk about repellent details.It's also sad to hear what stupid conversation they have with their boyfriend.Sad indeed...
"…then I want to fall down with you to the very farthest depths…!!!"(VK 52)
Off to mom on 7th of August.

Question:All we live/know/see it's real or it's created by our minds so that we believe it's real?
I think that what I remember or think it's real but maybe my mind has created some convenient memories to protect me;maybe I've created my own scene play,unconsciously.You know when you don't remember exactly what something happened in the past,and if someone is remembering you,you have the impression deep down that it's not the whole truth,or that it doesn't sound familiar.Like you had an amnesia.Our mind is denying the memories that affect us,especially when we are children.You may think you're innocent when someone suddenly accuses you.On spot you deny everything very sure of yourself,but then later,when you're alone you're not so sure anymore.Doesn't this mean something?Can we really know for sure that what we're saying,our words are really ours?Maybe someone told you those words,but you take them as your own.We sustain continuously that what we're saying it's true but then again later on we aren't that sure anymore.Our feelings,our opinions are the result of someone's or something's intervention,like we're being manipulated.And then again there are so many secrets everywhere;I continuously have the impression that everyone is hiding something/avoiding to tell some things.That's why I fell I can't completely trust someone.And I'm sure that this is real.Maybe it's the only thing of which I am sure it's real.Even inwards of the most sacred aggregation are dark secrets.You can tell that by only paying a little attention on what is happening around us.The institutions with superior powers got there by hiding something dark.Everyone and everything it's part of a big conspiracy.Every story has a mark of truth.Maybe big personalities like DaVinci,Einstein,Kennedy were about to discover the truth that THEY are hiding;or maybe they were with THEM.I can't live happily,without knowing.I'm too curious for that.I always had the strong feeling that this curiosity is going to kill me one day(it's like a premonition).I just can't stay still and be happy with what I know.I wanna know more and more.Even if that will kill me.

So,I already got the scholarship at Economic Sciences,and I'm waiting the results for Sociology and History(Update:Got scholarships at this ones too**).I still wanna do the Sociology but I'm really pissed with the fact that almost all my colleagues "decided" to take their file there too.I told them like a year ago that I wanted to go here and they were all skeptic.All my life people kept copying me.I really don't wanna be a role model.And I am not!On the contrary.We are humans,we all have a brain.USE IT,damn it!Don't fuckin'wait something will fall from the sky.Work to get what you want,WHAT YOU WANT,not me.If they think that I'll help them like before to finish the University,they are completely wrong.I made a promise to myself to see only my own business once I get to the University,no connection,friendship,help,nothing.Life thought me that I'm all alone,and I have to manage the best I can.And it's keep teaching me this every day.My needs are more important now.I wanna be selfish.It's not in my plans to connect with strange people or get attached to someone now. First I have to follow my mind.This is what I want.And God help the one who will try to hold me back.Life's too short so that I can care first about the others needs,and not mine.So,it's nothing personal.And STOP imitating me.I am unique,I have my own personality.Make your own personality,from your own life experience,don't steal mine.Be humans.Don't need clones near me.Damn,you people!

Fragment of an interview(V.V.)
Q:'Do you wish to find love again?'
A:'I don’t believe that it should be only one word in the vocabulary for love,which is "love".Love is always different with different people and it’s based on different things.Yeah,I wanna be swiped of my feet and I wanna be on my knees...Sure,who doesn’t?!But I’m very patient and rather wait for it to happen than diving with the head first in a place where I don’t wanna find myself again.'
Quote:'It's possible to love a human being if you don't know them too well.'(Bukowski)
A:'It’s easy to mirror in a person who you don't know that well so you can make that dream gonna happen in front of your eyes and when you start knowing that person you kinda taint that picture.'
I really felt the need of quoting this answers cause I couldn't said this better myself.Totally agree with the answers.Simple words but fool of meaning.I felt the words as I was hearing them like having an echo in my mind.Omg,sooo right...
PS:OMFG I just adoore Scrat from Ice Age and the penguin captain from Madagascar.What??Can't I act childish?hihi

In memoriam Michael Joseph Jackson(1958-2009)

Who would have thought I will actually cry at Michael's funeral?Surely not me.Someone once asked why people always laugh when a child is born,and cry when he dies,when it should be the other way around.We should cry when he's born,because he's gonna face life and suffer,and we should be happy when he dies because he will go to a better world.I like to think that right now:that there is a better world.But human nature doesn't allow us to be happy when someone dies.Sadly,we always realize how big someone was only after he dies.Bastards us.I feel guilty about that, but the media has the biggest fault. Genius,innovator,entertainer,humanitarian,and father may you rest in peace.You'll sure be in history forever.And these days,now,will be in my memory forever,for sure.I promise to teach my children and grandchildren how to discover you.You "healed the world" the best you could.I'm sorry that all genius always end up alone,and in suffering.We should all dedicate one simple day of our life to him,so that we can compensate all together the years of life he missed.Songs like:Give in to me,Liberian girl,Dirty Diana,Earth song,We are the world,You rock my world,In the closet,Care about us,Not alone,Thriller,Billie Jean,Bad,Beat it,Remember the time,Who is it,and so many others will overpass time for sure.
"Smile though your heart is aching..."
PS: Listen to the song Smile sang by Jermaine or Michael Jackson,it will rip your heart out

The results on my exams were published Saturday night.So in Romania the maximum grade you can obtain is 10.I got as a total of my 6 exams an 9,33.I'm very satisfied with this accomplishment.I got 10 at my writing Romanian exam,and at Geography(the only one in my highschool),and also the highest grades on Philosophy and Latin from my school(well,at Philosophy I was the only one-lmao).Lots of colleagues failed(feel pretty sorry about that).Although I was very happy with this,my "sweet" parents still aren't satisfied.I even cried yesterday,because instead of congratulating me,they asked me why I didn't got higher grades.I was furious.This exams were extremely difficult,and only I know how hard I studied,instead of having fun.Well,fuck them;if they had given this exams they wouldn't have got not even a 5(and it's 6 the passing grade).They should be happy that I'm not a whore making money on the streets;I wish they could see how that feels,so they could appreciate.Now,university:I decided to go either at Sociology or Ecology.Now I'll have to see where I can get a scholarship.I saw again that guy,think the motherfucking life is messing with me again.Well,still awesome,and the way he looks at you,makes you melt-day dreaming-**.In fall I wanna get a part time job as no matter what,just to earn some money.Well,this too has ended(my maturity test-strangely I don't feel more mature;maybe because I already matured long ago-).Thank God.Until October goodbye books yayyyy.

So what if I'm a VIRGIN??I'm proud of this,it makes me pure.It's a fashion to be a big whore now,and to have a big list of names,but I don't plan on making a fool of myself.I know I'm impulsive and daring,but when it comes to this things,I'm rather shy.And if I truly love someone,I'll give away my soul.I'm just not like this.To cheat or date one guy after another.To me,love is saint.It's not something I try to find in every guy I meet,I'll feel it at the right time.I always feel something with all my senses,and I'm rather falling in a dream from which I don't wanna wake up.It hurts,but I rather feel the pain,than nothing.I know I don't have experience and I'm rather innocent when it comes to this,but I like living in an medieval world,when everything was based on romanticism(a rose,a hug it's more than enough).I'm not materialistic.I'm too romantic and day dreaming sometimes,but I can help it.It's good that I manage to hide that well,because it will make me look weak.An "I love you" it's so hard to be said to me,but once I'll say it I know I will lose myself completely in that love.I've never been in love before.I haven't found someone with who I wanna lose together.At least not someone that will feel the same.I don't know why I started thinking about this in the first place...I think it's time for the melancholic part of the month-beahhh
"I'm strong on the surface,not all the way through..."

No more exams!!!yayyy...now I have to wait for the results o_0...I saw last night Interview with the vampire,the movie,for the fourth time.I thought I should still give the movie a chance,since it's more appreciated than Qotd.Still,Lestat,played by Tom Cruise,is rather presented as a monster,grotesque.Lestat doesn't kill for pleasure,he loves humans. It still has an ironic and funny part,if you can understand the meaning of his words,but it's way different than in the book(although there are parts from Qotd,VL,and VA,not only from IWTV).And Lestat,afraid of the new world and of Louis?I mean what in the world?!Lestat has always been a fond of modernity.He from all will adapt the best to the 20th century.Also Louis(Brad Pitt) is foolish,too naive for my taste.I didn't understood not even from the book why Lestat liked him in the first place,but maybe he liked his frailty,he felt he had to protect him.Pitt doesn't really suit the character,I mean it has the beauty Lestat was describing,but the innocence takes over the mystery.When Claudia dies you can feel the pain Louis feels,in the book.But the movie is rather superficial.Armand told Louis he reflects the broken heart of the edge.After all,what does that really embrace,,express?In the end no one understands the morals of all that.We still want to feel it on our own.And Lestat is still a monstrous killer in the end.That's bullshit.He has the purest feelings,and under the surface he's the naivest.He just manages to hide that well.An imp.A brat.Trying to mature.Afraid of not being close to the filthy human world.
PS:I saw him again,and time just stopped.You know when you're seeing a movie,and it's slowmotion.Something like that,and the tension was enormous.He looked for a couple of seconds but omg,I can even describe it.It's like he was reading my thoughts,and there was only us left(I was like phonic isolated).It send shivers down my spine.Amazing.I don't think I've been through this kind of...(I can't even find my words)situation.He slowly passed beside me,and left a perfume and a mystery,omg...so much power.I feel powerless around him.That's huge deal.I'm good at reading people,but now it's harder than ever.Too bad I don't have the time anymore.I hate myself for making such a big mistake.