Home sweet home!The Easter has passed with wonderful and not so good moments.It was wonderful to be with almost all my family,we went to a barbecue,we played volleyball,Remi,dmc.My little cousin was like stuck to my neck,hugging me all the time.When I left today he had tears in his eyes...How I love that little dwarf...I know him from his first day,when I took him from hospital,I stayed with him when he was sick,when he was crying or laughing...I laughed my ass off with his older brother,making fun of some bastards.(hihi)My father was drunk(no surprise here),when we wanted to go visit him,he sent us home,at the middle of the road.One of my friends was bragging all the time and last night she sent me a message,sounding like this:"Get over here!"..I was like"oh,yeah?!",so I left her waiting for me 3 hours.No one tells me what to do.When she'll learn how to talk I'll go-maybe.I saw one of my ex crush,and I was glad to find out that I have no more feelings what so ever for him,and at the same time some aspects related to him,made me wonder if he was like this before,or the time made him like this.Oh,well...I didn't managed to look at the sky cause it was freezin' cold,but last night I looked for a little while at the stars and there were so many...o,wonderful**

I wanna go to paintball...but no one wants to go with me,and from what I saw there are only man above 30 years,and I'm afraid they will kill me for real when they will start shooting,since I'll be the only girl,and the youngest-_-.Fuck!
A drawing inspired from someone's story-I was curious how it would come out on paper-.I haven't decided yet if I will leave the dragon wing,if I will do an angel wing,or if I'll do it with two wings...I started with the face and hair,cause that I love more to do,after I started to be a little bored.I don't know if the vampire fang is visible,or the covered eye...I still have to change some things there but when I will not be bored...oh,well...I just let my imagination fly.

Home alone!Now it will take some time to get used to the silence,but after,it will be better.I have like a gap in my stomach;again the feeling that something is going to happen.I hate the feelin'.Now it irritates me to see lack of maturity,just silly acting,and immaturity.When u say you took ur life in ur own hands,I expect you to.And,yeah,some people think that if they can have everything they want,the others don't matter anymore.Well,not everyone can have or do everything they want to,because some people work hard for money.All this childish things have no more importance for me;ok,act a little childish but not all the time.Total decline of the society!What an interesting way of spending time.Man,grow up!I guess I was wrong about u after all.I thought I could have some honest and serious conversations with u,but,oh,how I was wrong.And u still pretend u are mature and God knows what.U don't even know who u are,what u really want and if u're ready to fight;even I could tell that.
What are you listening to right now?Placebo-Without u I’m nothing;HIM-Kiss of dawn,Solitary man;Grey Daze-Painted pictures,Soul song,The down syndrome.
Age:almost 19.
Do you smoke?No.
Do you drink?No.
Your siblings age?My sister is 22.
Do you believe in love at first sight?When I’ll see it happen I’ll believe it…I’m like Toma the Unfaithful.
Your first thought when waking up?I wanna sleep some more”
Do you swear?No,if I can’t keep the promise.
What was your favorite childhood television program?omg,I used to look at Sailor Moon and then pretend I was her and I was waiting for my masked prince with the red rose…so naïve of me.
Do you believe in ghosts?I’m afraid that if I answer,the old lady that used to live here will haunt me again…brr
If you could live anywhere in the world where would you go?California dreaming**
Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid?Innocence.
What’s ur fav song of all time?Linkin Park-By myself.
What would be ur dream job?Criminologist.:D
Do u get along with ur parents?I see them once or twice a year,and we usually argue after a hour or two,so…
Own a stuffed animal?Omg,no.I’m an animal lover.
Do you believe what goes around comes around?I sure hope so.
Would you ever get a tattoo?I would love to tattoo my weeding ring if I’ll ever get married.
What school do you go to?Intensive French…I wanted English,but faith ruined my plans…
Fav book and movie?Book:All written by Anne Rice.Movie:Walk to remember,The last samurai,Queen of the damned,The sixth sense.
Is society in an incline or a decline?Decline,for sure.Back to primitiveness.
Friend or foe?Depends on u.It’s not nice to have me as an enemy.
Caught a snowflake on ur tongue?Yeah,love the feeling.
Donated blood?Yeah.
Who was ur first crush?Omg,I think it was on kindergarten…so funny…
Are you gonna be home alone tonight?Yep.
Are you a forgiving person?Usually yeah.
Are you friends with someone who lies about the stupidest stuff ever? Unfortunately,not with only one person.
What is the last thing you said out loud?”Take care.”
When is your birthday?May 20th.
Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?Yes.
Do you wish you could tell someone something big, but can't?Not really.Better keep it for myself.
How was your day?Nice,I spent time with my almost ex class mates.
Has someone disappointed you recently?Yeah.Had enough with lies.
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?Not really.

The careless wind passed beside me and was pushing me to go further,so cold.The black wind,full with dust didn’t know what was expecting me over that line,that I didn’t dare to cross...He kept blowing and blowing,and going far away without a care,without any fear...How I wish to be able to let myself go with the wind,under his protection...
Going out of my fucking mind.
I...
Fall.

If it's something I can only cry about in my heart...it's almost like a sin.

I was looking thru my files and found the pics from the concert...omg I remember how I went like a crazy,on my own,in a strange city where I knew nobody...It was so nice that we got all 20 fans and we went and drank a hot coco,because it was freezin' cold,and even though we didn't knew each other we talked and laughed for hours(especially with my big mouth^^);we were like a family...I even took photos of one of the band member's ass,by mistake-hihi-...It had worth waiting 9 years to go to one of their concerts.On 15 May they will make 10 years as a band,and since on 20 it's my birthday,I want to give to myself a present and go to the party...I will go to Bucharest,5 hours distance,between unknown people,but what will stop me??I just hope my parents won't found out,cause I'll probably remain there for the whole weekend;they don't even know about my last escapade...If they found out I'll be in big trouble,but it worth the risk;I couldn't care less if they make me a scandal and they know it like they know that I would never do what they want,at least not before I do something rebellious.I will never obey or do what I don't want to,even if I'm the black sheep!

"And I miss you like the desert miss the rain..."

Not one day passes by without hearing at least one lie...There's so much falsity around me it makes me sick.Yesterday I blasted my music loud and spoke to nobody but my sister;I was afraid I will puke if I hear one more lie again...Can't believe this people.Like they would gain something from all this...oh,well maybe they have gained something:my despise...
One more week until the arrival of my mother,one week until I'll be home alone for 3 days(I'm counting the days till then,I need that time);one week till I have to go to my grandparents...I hope I'll have the opportunity to spend a little time outside,alone,just looking at stars,since it's a little warmer outside(hope it won't rain).It will be funny seeing my mom for Easter at home,after 6 years,and it will be nice to be all together...my dad said that I will stay only with my mom and I won't go visit him,and tonight told me he misses us...while he was saying that I missed him too,and I hope he won't ruin us the Easter by getting drunk again;after all he has done to us,I still care for him,he somehow manages to get my forgiveness, although so many times I cried because of him,when he kicked us out,and said I'm not his daughter,or even that I'm a mistake,but I want to give him a chance,after chance;he's my dad after all,part of me...
I can't wait to go to Greece with my classmates for 3 days...it will be a nice memory,and maybe it will bring us together,even if we only have only 2 months when we will see each other...funny,how time manages to make us forget.I know for sure that soon we won't remember of all this,but after all the happy,crazy,sad moments,high school was an important part of my life,and it will always be...
I was right when I said that friends feel the distance...A friend asked me what's wrong with me,why don't I speak with her anymore like before...It's better this way;in 2 months you will leave for good,and it's not the same when we talk on phone;and as I got to know you by now,I know you will soon be friend with others,and my memory will fade away soon...I will never forget you,and I accept this situation;it's just how it is...




These are two pictures I took this afternoon of the tree in front of my house,and one of his flowers...since I missed snow so much,these flowers can be considered as pink snowflakes,only they even smell wonderful and they have a longer life...I just adore spring...the fresh air,perfumed with an heavenly smell,everything comes to live again,and all the flowers,the weather that embraces us to go out and be her friend...amazing...