Here's my first guitar. I've only managed to tune it today, but I absolutely love it<3 br="">. I have way too many plans for the time I actually have, this winter holiday. And I have all these contradictory feelings. It's the first time in 4 years, if I'm not wrong, when I'm not spending my vacation in Rome. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm not sure how I feel about many things, these days. I already miss two different people, from two different places, from two different times of my life... though, I'm not sure how much those two people miss me. Probably at all. One of them is the end, while the other is the beginning of ”something”, something that is forbidden and dangerous, for me mostly. I don't know what's with me and danger...*instant attraction?!* But that's a different side of the story. ”Different” seems to be the word of the day. This IS going to be a very different Christmas and I just hope I'll be able to restrain my impulsiveness for the next two weeks and that I'm not going to ruin what I've accomplished so far by doing something irrational and pointless.
I've noticed more and more lately that there are people surrounding me for the last 7-8 years, that actually claim they know me so well, when in fact they don't. And at all! Go figure...
Got to go now. Part 2 coming soon!* Merry X-mas mes damnés and let's hope there will be snow...

”...writing is letting your soul bleed onto paper.”(A.A.Rhodes)... And oh, how many times I've let my soul bleed onto digital or actual paper... maybe on a certain level I am afraid of letting my book be read by someone else. I know what I have put in every little word I wrote and what my emotions were while I wrote them. The fact that someone would treat superficially or that he/she won't understand what I felt, or what my characters felt, and that he/she would just read every word as if they are just words thrown on paper, it frightens me. Maybe that's every author's fear. I'm not sure I want to face this fear. What I wrote, my character's love and suffering and all that I made them go through, has too much of me... all that I couldn't say at a certain time and all that I felt I couldn't express then, I later put it on paper through my Aimé, Adora, Varian, Emma, Amity and the others. I just doubt that anyone would be capable to understand my writing, Me. Re-reading what I wrote brings back a whole different story, apart from the one that has been written, and the emotions overwhelm me every time. I think one should experience what I have experienced to understand Me. But this guess could be extremely wrong.
I just read a beautiful article about vampires that stated some really good questions and possibly answers(http://www.bettendorf.com/node/1261), as for example: ”Vampires, in the current craze, desire to be accepted by us rather than threatening to suck the force of life out of us. Given the fact vampires still exist in the shadow side of our imaginations, why do they enthrall us so?... Maybe the idea of dying in order to live doesn't sound so crazy anymore...”.

About me... I've been quite ill after three days in-a-row during which I went out fuckin' partyin'. But that does it. At least for a week, during which I have an exam (just lovely, may I add! -__-), no more going out late at night! I need a break.
Well, it's almost Christmas, and you can smell the melancholy in the air. I surely have this feeling too, of remembrance, longing and... the wrench. But, God, oh God, I love Christmas. My inner child is the happiest during this time of the year. Too bad the New Year's Eve follows up after this. 2012, oh 2012, what should my resolutions be for this new year...?
I'm absolutely insanely in love with this song, from Mumford and the sons - The cave. It just has a Christmas spirit, it has melancholy, hope, everything. And it's something I would've never thought I would like.
Well, darlings, till next time... be safe, be wise, and just enjoy this time of the year. Here's a little sparkle of hope and love from me, sincerely.

A year ago I went through one of the hardest moments in my life. The amount of pain I was feeling didn't allow me to either eat or sleep, and the air I breathed was running out on me and faded just like the memory of You. I felt the ending touching me. I knew it all along. Having to deal with everything: the new, the old, the beginning and the end felt so much for me, but here I am, one year later... I still feel the little knives stinging into my heart when I remember everything, but I am fine now. Better that I thought I will be when the time stood still.
"We fell in love, with dust in our lids
And the pain of a severed soul
All is lost but hope
On the crest of fire
Our wings are burning..."