i can't stop writing.it's all i can do,since i don't trust someone hard enough to share all my thoughts.i wanna shout,i wanna kick somebody,i wanna feel free,i wanna feel butterflies,i wanna hate,i want so many things..my mind is so full of insane thoughts,i can't even express myself...i feel like i will explode if i don't write or do something to get away from some of my thoughts....
the last days i tried to please everyone and i feel like i've given up on me...i heard a song accidentaly and it said "only the strongest will survive"(breaking benjamin-blow me away) and i suddenly remembered that i used to be so strong,why should everything be different now?! i should get up there and force myself to be the old me again,the strong one...but i first have to get away from my thoughts and that's hard cause my first thought every day,every hour,every moment,every second is that "i wanna disappear",like someone is constantly wispering that in my head....god i'm completely losing my minds...
i sometimes look,just look at other people and they seem so peaceful,all they think about is fun,boys/girls and this ordinary stuffs and i wonder "do they ever have this kind of thoughts,like me?!"
I can't escape this hell,
So many times I've tried,
I can't control myself.
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