Went to the country side.It was a mess there so I did some cleaning,washing and dusting,and it was exhausting because I had to divide myself so that I can see everyone in a short time.Regarding my cousins-I'm missing so many things,that I don't want to miss.But,it's nice to see they care for me so much and that I had a big influence upon them.I watched the little one sleeping,I couldn't help myself;he looked so innocent and it seemed like everything makes sense.I took the older one to sleep with me Saturday night cause I was a little scared of sleeping alone,cause my uncle was hearing voices again,was drunk,wanted to hang himself.We locked ourselves inside and it was ok after all.Now,Friday off to mom.I think the first week I'll sleep and relax,cause I'm extremely tired.It wasn't a vacation at all until now.The paper works are ready.I try so hard to stay out of everyone's business and they still get me in the middle.Like I don't have enough problems on my own,to get involved in their problems.Oh,I saw that guy from the car,in town,and he has the same attitude-well,the idea is that he's not pretty,model or something,but he has something.So,it's not physical attraction,but rather an intellectual one.It's not his appearance that got my attention in the first place.It's hard to explain,especially to superficial people.Many don't understand that.But to me it doesn't matter the appearance,cause you can't do anything with that.I,a million times,rather have a smart conversation.I was surprised to see him though(got my reasons why I was surprised).I discovered that I'm a great detective when it comes to infos I need and want.I'm a little worried of what's gonna happen in the next weeks.Don't know how to react or what to do.And I don't like the idea of expressing my instant reactions.I always end up doing silly and stupid things when I haven't thought everything before.I'm too impulsive.
"Rassurez moi si les douleurs nous rendaient meilleur... Je voulais juste me connaître mieux,m'épanouir à tes côtés...J'aurai voulu t'offrir le meilleur de tout mon être...T'aimer autrement qu'à contre sens..."