Home alone for 2 weeks.Sweet!Although I feel kinda lonely sometimes...Well,I got back yesterday from my grandparents.Even though I stayed a week,I honestly didn't feel the time pass.At least not like the whole last month.Also,I think it's the first time when I went without thinking about when I will leave.It felt great.My little dwarf still said it was a bad that I couldn't stayed more,but they were happy I stayed a little bit longer.My uncle even said he has found my cousins weak point:me.Everywhere I am,they are with me.I think I like going there,even though I work more than 12 hours/day,I do it because there,I feel loved.I know they want me there.And my father is feeling good,he hasn't drank from Easter.I could spend hours with him talking,when he's sober.Even though he made me suffer so many times,I forgive him;I try to forget about that,because I don't think I could just live without that love.At least not right now.I need it.That's something I can't do with my mom.That's something she doesn't understand.You know,a child doesn't need only money.It is needed something more.She doesn't know how to demonstrate affection to people.That's something I will always remember,and if I will have a child I'll treat him like I helped raise my little dwarf and show my affection to him.That's what dad offers me,even though he can't give me money.I don't care about money.If I cared I wouldn't have gone visiting him for the last 14 years...I was cleaning the house and I found some memory notebooks I made years ago.It really amused me and I kinda missed those times....those sweet,embarrassing and childish memories...I was crazy even then...OMG**...I know I was fortunate to be loved by so many people,that maybe then I didn't realized.I'm sorry I've lost contact with them.I don't like it when I lose contact with people that encounter with me,from a reason or another.Inside they never disappear.Not even the most insignificant person.Somehow I will remember about each of the people that, accidentally or God knows why,entered my life...but if you regret too much those times you won't start living in the present...Well,I started moving forward some time ago,even against my desires.