Oh God,oh God...I keep doing what only harms me.When I will finally learn?When I will finally just accept that it's just the way it is and I can't possibly do anything to change it?!!!How many do you have to endure or see to just realize what's the obvious?!Stupid,stupid!!!That's just not for you.It never was and never will be!Understood??!!!No,because I never quite understand,do I?!Because I'm such a fool!
Just move on already and hope it will soon be over.Nothing more than that.Just like so far.Stupid!Be as numb as you can,and it will all be over.
I hope to be...or maybe I don't...I seem to have a natural talent in choosing and doing all that I shouldn't.A natural stupidity.
And when I think about how much I was willing to...or maybe still am...not that it matters now...or ever.Just foolish of me.Like always!
NB:This,and many others,is and were private discussions between me and myself,refereed as third person.No others,than me,and me,and me...and ME.