Perverse sentimente îmi macină prezentul... Even though my life has changed so much in the past year and it will change so much more in about a month, the content in this diary has remained the same... I had found you and though my soul has had the power to regenerate so many times, I believe it is necessary that some of its power should remain intact for the next person that shall ”fall” into my life. Seven years ago I moved into this city hoping things would change. And they have. But not entirely how I wanted to. Two years ago I chose the Erasmus scholarship in Italy (though the country would have been my last choice probably under other circumstances, in Europe) hoping the same thing I hoped in the past. Though in some ways my choice proved itself to have been one of the worst choices I've ever made, there were indeed some changes that helped my professional career and social interactions. Putting things in a balance now I don't know if the benefits exceeded the losses. Next month I start fresh again and I am worried I won't make the choice with the best benefits for me. But then again, there will definitely be some changes. Life will get harder, but I hope the sacrifices will be overcompensated with rewards. If things will again fail to satisfy me, in a year or two I shall leave again. The point is: no matter how many challenges life throws at me, I always start over again with the undying and maddening hope that there's a place where I will find what I'm looking for. At the time, there is not one place in the entire world where I can see myself staying in for the rest of my life. I'm not even sure that place even exists. But one thing is for sure: I will never stop looking for it as long as I live.

This heart was ceased to you and failed. A failed attempt to exorcise the demons from your past.