Back at it

Hello, my damned forgotten corner of the world,

It's been ages. I and my state of mind has changed in some ways, yet scrolling through my past feelings, maybe I haven't changed as much as I would have loved to. The moments of light in my life have always been overpowered by an overwhelming endless pit of painful thoughts and feelings. Many people have wandered into my life since the last time I was here, few have stayed (as usual), and some have left this world. Many things have changed. Yet not all the ones that mattered, I guess. Time and what surrounds me have turned me either into a stone cold person, or fragile beyond belief in some unanticipated moments. The fears have only accumulated and the list of people that mattered the most has shortened by much.
When I was here the last time I hoped for some changes from another point of view, as well. That slight change has come at some point, but at the time I am writing this, I wish it'd never happened. My dreamy nature and the last bits of innocence were dissolved either by this human occurrence, or by being forced to face complete loss. In one way or another, the last one mentioned, has become a part of life that I had to get used to. As much as someone can get used to that. The spontaneous moments of weakness prove that I can't embrace it as if it's part of life. It shouldn't be.
I decided to write this because at some point in time it used to be my therapy. And it's the only thing that has remained constant throughout the years. I don't see myself in some of my previous thoughts anymore and it seems to me that they come from a different life, but I do recall, while reading them, what was I thinking and feeling at that specific time. I find that to be somewhat cathartic and I would have loved it to see more recent thoughts, as well.
Till next time, I guess.

P.S.: My last post here included an Evergrey song. What do you know? I am in a whirlwind of obsession with the band these days too. As I said, some things never change.