I don't really know what to write about or if I want to write of what I "supposedly don't know".
It's about time to start studying for my partials but I don't feel like.I think about so many things that my head is just exploding.I can't wait for the winter vacation.I don't care where I'm going to go,I just want some time to relax and be alone.I want to continue some of my projects.I don't think about what this year holidays might mean.I'm tired.I think I,alone,complicate my life and don't know if I'm right to do so.I'm going to be myself and whoever has a problem with that should fuck himself.I couldn't care less.On next Monday are the town's days,so it should be fun.This weekend I went to one of my colleague,at the country side.It was actually more fun than I thought it would be.The fresh air was good for me.And just being surrounded by traditions for a little while remembered me about so many things in my past.It was nice.
I was thinking about telling mom to take only my sis there with her for X-mas and New Year's Eve.Like this,she would have a clean conscience and an excuse to leave me behind,and my sis would have fun cause she said she will remain in Galati,alone,if she doesn't leave to mom.Actually I'm quite sure she wouldn't do that,but since it will only be a torture to myself and others to go there again,I prefer staying home or going to grandpas and be with someone that actually loves me.Like this maybe I'll avoid the crying on the night between years and the faking so that I can stay at home,alone,like last year.I'm really considering this.Maybe it's for the best.To me,either grandpas either mom it's kinda the same thing because I won't feel like I belong to any of this places then,but from the two,with the consequence of hurting myself and...,I would choose the grandpas.
Yes,it's true that we like to hang on to something different just to pretend we forget,for a moment,about the present torture.I can't possibly know what you want from me.
I don't feel like writing what it's really happening in my mind.
...everything ends...
DON'T YOU EVER TAKE ME FOR GRANTED.
You don’t get to make that decision for me. If you walk away, it’s for you, because I know what I want.
PS:I saw the video of "Killing loneliness" a thousand times and I just noticed that it is Kat von D who tattoos Ville's eyes.Awesome!She had to be so honored.Oh,on Valentine's Day the new album HIM should be released!That day suddenly sounds good!I can't wait!!!Oh,I just love the video "Justify",from The Rasmus.I can't really tell why but it's freaking awesome and a little old by now!