"The Life of all Flesh Is The Blood" - Leviticus 17:14

In the last period and in the following I have and will have to learn how to let go on certain people... unfortunately, it's an exam I'm not that sure I will pass easily...
What hurts is that I didn't want to leave that impression or to find out on my own flesh how little it mattered...
These days I feel inert, senseless... I walk but I don't realize I'm walking, I'm thirsty but I don't want to drink, I'm hungry but I don't want to eat, I need to go to university but once there I want to leave. It's degenerating from an usual depressed state to indifference... but it's not an usual indifference, but all I do I do as if I'm dead, and just the impulsion and the automatism is left. It feels like I'm seeing my body from above, like an astral projection, doing all those things, but I'm not there. Not really. I feel like I hate everyone and everything, but yet I don't feel anything...
Certain things never mattered and never will...
Changing the subject: I'm doing Spanish at the University, because I wanted to. It's gonna be my fifth language:D. I'm gonna lose myself in all this languages, my God:| But it's a wonderful language, and although I understand almost perfectly I'm now working on my speaking skills. I went to an English Course too, not because I needed but it was a native English teacher teaching it. OMG, he spoke so wonderfully and until the other students came we spoke in English. Wonderful! I even like Italian when this teacher spoke it. It was so sweet, with his accent! I was melting there. But the truth is, that the level on which the rest of the students were doesn't help me, because I did the test in 10 minutes (and just because it was pretty long to read:|) while the rest of them made it in two hours and didn't even finished it so the teacher stopped them. Besides even the teacher told me I have nothing to do in such a low leveled English course. But, man, he spoke so wonderfully. I was charmed.
A lot of the teachers proposed me or asked me to come do my Master in Italy and I told them that no way in hell, which came quite as a surprise to them.

”I pour my soul to those eyes full of fire… Am I to bleed myself dry just to see your delight?”
Till next time, my damneds...