You run from whoever dares to love you or tell you that you're not the devil you believe to be. You would do anything to prove that there is nothing good left in you. You want no forgiveness. You don't believe you deserve it. Even if the chance to redemption were to be offered to you, you would not take it. You would punish anyone that would ever dare to care for you, only to prove your point. Including me. You cannot accept that no matter what you will do, I cannot hate you. Shouldn't that tell you something? That maybe you found, till a certain extent, a way to be forgiven and to forget? Can't you see that no matter what you will do I can't command my own self that is stubborn enough to love you despite everything? Maybe you were to love me more if I could only say that you are a devil, that I hate you! But can't you see that I cannot do that, as much as you cannot admit to what I believe to be inside of you? "Why don't you hate me?" you might ask, when in fact, I ask myself exactly the opposite : "Why don't you love me?" ... I never asked for a saint or for a devil. I only asked for you! And that has proven to be too much to ask...

* Polemic that begun from the last two chapters of the book I have now finished and that made me understand more certain situations. Forgive me!...