Conversation between I and Me.

I (subconscious): - You have to remember why you decided to do this. You can't go back every time you feel a little weaker.
Me (conscious): - But why things have to be so complicated?
I (subconscious): - It's just how it is and you have to deal with it.
Me (conscious): - But... I want to do that...
I (subconscious): - You can't.
Me (conscious): - But... What if it could change things?
I (subconscious): - No BUT.
Me (conscious): - What if everything is not how I think it is, and we could be happy?
I (subconscious): - It doesn't matter. Once you go forward, you can't go back every time just to end up making the same decision over and over again.
Me (conscious): - I want...
I (subconscious): - I don't care what you want. Get over it!
Me (conscious): - This ”what if...” is killing me.
I (subconscious): - It's killing everybody. It's an universal problem. You can't solve it though.
Me (conscious): - I have to try...
I (subconscious): - NO! You have tried too many times. It has no point.
Me (conscious): - What do I do when I'm on the verge of breaking down and I feel I can't resist anymore without doing what my heart is telling me to do?
I (subconscious): - There's nothing you can do. It's not that simple. The heart has no brain for a reason. That often falls into stupidity. You can only hope that it will go away. And remember the reasons why.
Me (conscious): - When did it get so complicated? I should be able to do what I feel I have to do, every time I want to do it. Why all this torture?
I (subconscious): - I don't have a reasonable answer to that. Not even Einstein had an answer to that. And the story has two people involved. So you see... it is unlikely that the two persons will syntonize. It doesn't all depend on you. If it does, then you should just reconsider the situation and realize why it's not well for you.
Me (conscious): - I know all that. And yet... I still have this burning desire to do it. Despite everything.
I (subconscious): - Well, NO! Don't do it! End of story.

And I could actually ”see” that I will end up doing it. As usual. When a fuckin' idea gets into my head I can't manage to get it out. It's amazing! Stubborn, idiot and dysfunctional brain! Or is it my soul that is dysfunctional?...