A feeling of melancholy,not sadness,has dominated me these days...one simple question has made me think of everything,for the last three days:"Are you happy?".The answer should be simple:"yes" or "no"...but I don't know what to say.When I think of this,I think of the past,present and what the future seems to have in store for me...Another million questions come into my mind,when I want to answer this question,or when I think I finally got the answer...like:Can we be happy in the middle of this beautiful lie?;Can we feel good in the middle of this falsity,of this nonsense?;Do we know what happiness really is?What should we really have to be "happy"?or Can we find a middle way between happiness and unhappiness?And how would this middle way be called?Maybe indifference or carelessness?...Right now I can't say I'm really happy because:the future is very unsure,I have to think really well at what I want,I will soon be apart of lots of the people around me(and I don't know if this makes me happy or not),I don't know if my sister is going to be for enough more time with me,if do I have to leave all this behind(and this is not easy at all)...But at the same time I feel "thankful" for what I got for now(a lot is still missing)...
Afraid of letting go,of forgetting...yeah,I am afraid,and that doesn't make me less stronger,at least I have the courage to say it,even though my courage has lost from his intensity,regarding only some matters...and still...Are you happy?

"Tell me, if I caught you one day
and kissed the sole of your foot,
wouldn't you limp a little then,
afraid to crush my kiss?..."